Just want it to end..

Been listening to Boyce Avenue's cover of Coldplays "Fix You"..and can't stop crying. I try so hard and still get ignored. I feel like if I just went away I could make the hurt stop. You don't hurt people you love like this though :( I feel alone all the time, I can't talk about this to anyone because it just gets brushed off as over reacting or Im too embarrassed to say anything. I wanna be able to talk to people about this..keeping it inside me is killing me. I've been thinking about doing it a lot the past few days. I wouldnt be able to forgive myself if I put my family through this..so I guess living in pain is better for one person than many. I truly hate my life :(

How do you love someone you've never met? I've spent years talking to this person and I have nothing but love in my heart for him and wish things could be different..I wish we could meet..I wish religion wasn't an issue..I wish age wasn't an issue..I wish..

In a couple weeks it will be the anniversary of my dads death..2 years sine he's been gone :( I think about him and Aiyush all the time and miss them so much.

I don't know how to stop this and I don't know what to do next. I just want it to stop. I want to stop being sad and depressed all the time. I want to stop crying myself to sleep. I want to stop feeling alone. I just wanna stop.