another day wasted..

Spent most of the day crying and being emo..slept on and off all day too. Didn't get to spend time with Bella like I had planned :/ The meds would work if I took them like I was supposed to I guess..I just get so tired of taking pill after pill. I caught myself dumping the whole bottle of pain pills in my hand last night. I just stared at them for a min or so..obviously I put them back in the bottle, but it was so tempting to just swallow them all..so tempting :( I have no idea what I need to do now and am desperate for some direction..