Poem I found..

A Fragile Heart
~ Shernel Jn Pierre

My fragile heart was broken more than once before
I don't think I can endure another pain.
They don't know how or what I feel inside,
through my smiles I cry,
they don't know what they do to me.
Deep inside me I feel like I'm dying.
My world is so empty the days are so cold and lonely
each time I face the purest pain.
I wake up every night to see the state I'm in.
It's like and endless fight I never seems to win.
I should let it out, I think it's time someone should know.
I wish I could tell u the pain that I feel every day,
and that I can't find my way.
How can I break this wall around me
that causes my heart to grow in pain.
With this fire that burns deep within me,
there's so much to lose and yet less to gain.
Is it obvious that I'm caught in emotions
I'm out of control;
I don't know how long I can keep this inside.
So help me complete the pain inside me
and help me mend this fragile heart.

Confused

Sometimes I think life would be more simple if I never had the net..well, I know it would be. But then I wouldn't have met so many wonderful people and my twinny =) But when I faked my appearance I had a few people showing interest..but when I show my true self I have more telling me they have feelings for me. I know I'm a good person and I know Im a good friend...I just don't want anyone getting the wrong impression. I DO care about a lot of people and it makes me feel bad that I can't say I feel the same way for them. I think I should just be "with" myself and only myself for awhile..that would make things much easier for me. It's hard for me to put my feelings out there again. I did recently and got them crushed, and now he wants me back but that makes me uneasy. I don't want to put them out there again to just get hurt. And I know you can't get into any relationship without putting yourself out there..but..I'm not sure I'm willing to do that yet. I think I just need to take a break :)

Yeah..I'm bored

UGH no work and can't go anywhere..love the snow but hate it at the same time lol OH..and I'm cramping and whiney haha so at least only a few people have to put up with the bitching from me ;) Sometimes I think it would be easier being a man..at least for a few days a month lol

So yesterday consisted of..
*watching movies

*chatting online

*cleaning a lil

*taking a nap

fun day huh? I guess I can expect more of the same today since I most likely will stay home again. Maybe I'll give myself a day of pampering and finish one of the many books Im reading. Or maybe I'll just stay in bed the whole day with a heating pad and the remote :O That actually sounds good to me!

yeah, a random pic of me lol For someone who hates having her pic taken..I have tons of them

SNOW!

YAY no work today (and possibly tomorrow) since we got tons of snow :) So now we're just stuck at home and no way of going out for anything lol Great chance to finish reading and watching a few movies..just a calm, relaxing day...with cramps :S lol at least my 10day work week was broken in half :P

Sometimes..

I feel like I have absolutely nobody to talk to when I need an ear to listen or a shoulder to cry on. I try and be there for anyone who needs me but when I need someone I always feel like I'm bothering them or something. My heart hurts so bad right now and all I seem to do is cry all the time. I don't want to feel sad all the time or feel like I have pretend to be ok when I'm not. I don't want pity, but I want to be able to have bad days and have someone there to tell me it's ok. I'll just wake up to swollen eyes again and go on like nothing is wrong. I can't even stop the tears now.

I hate the fact that a few people I trust and love dearly have lied to me, and one right to my face..I hate that someone I cared about wants nothing to do with me anymore and I don't honestly know what I did that was bad enough for her to just wash her hands of me. I'm just sick of always having something wrong in my life. I know we can't all have the picture perfect life..but does it have to be so fucked up all the time?

I can't seem to let Aiyush go and I know I need to..but it just doesn't feel right to do it. I think about him every day, all the time, and I know if he were here now he'd know just what to say to me..and he'd end up making me smile like he always did. Fathey would know how to make me smile too..just wish we were like we used to be. My head says give him another chance but my heart just doesn't wanna go through all that again..so Im stuck..confused..stressed...sigh

Hear You Me..

There's no one in town I know
You gave us some place to go.
I never said thank you for that.
I thought I might get one more chance.
What would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
So what would you think of me now,
so lucky, so strong, so proud?
I never said thank you for that,
now I'll never have a chance.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
And if you were with me tonight,
I'd sing to you just one more time.
A song for a heart so big,
god wouldn't let it live.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.
Hear you me my friends.
On sleepless roads the sleepless go.
May angels lead you in.
May angels lead you in.