Been ignoring this site again :/ Had a really shitty past couple weeks..Someone I love, my best friend, hasn't spoken to me in about a month (other than fighting) and it makes me extremely sad. We didn't used to go a day without talking and now it's like we don't know each other. I found out I was lied to..which hurt more than anything. I don't know what to trust anymore. I hope we can salvage our friendship..would hate to think some stupid fucked up game ruined that.

I've been talking to someone everyday..he tells me he loves me and I like feeling wanted/loved..I like that he will drop everything he's doing just to spend time with me. I don't want anyone hurt and I am being completely honest about how I feel...just think its gonna get complicated for everyone :S He is really sweet and makes me smile..and he knows the little things that make me happy :) I love talking to him and I care about him..but whatever I do, someone will get upset or hurt. I need a long vacation.

Oh..Bella started 4th grade. She's growing up so fast :( sometimes I wish she was still a tiny baby :P I will be trying to see if the invitro is still covered through our insurance and if it is, I will be trying it. Giving it one last shot this year..I really want to get pregnant and I want to be a mom more than anything :( wish me luck!

If I were a lesbian..

I would sooo attack her :P Radeo is soo fucking sexy!

Im a dumbass

I really am..Im sick of being treated like Im invisible unless you want something. Just tired of everything and wonder why I put so much feeling and caring into it when it doesn't feel like Im getting it back anymore :/ someone slap the shit outta me please

Slacking again..

Been exactly a whole month since I've blogged..need to change that. Things are going ok for me..He isn't speaking to me..again. One day he will realize what he's doing..I hope.

Work is better, we got more hours so Im back to full time in 2 weeks. YAY =] Ive also been taking all my meds like Im supposed to and I think it's actually helping a lot. I can definitely feel a difference now. On the downside (if you really consider it a downside) I have been drinking more. No more than 2 mixed drinks a day and it's not every day, so I don't consider it to be THAT bad.

Happy Father's Day..

I miss you :( <3

Proud of Bella :)

She won the 3rd grade Citizenship award at school :) She was voted on by all the kids as being the kindest and always positive and never judges anyone :) She was so happy, she got a certificate and a medal