One more day...

I can't believe the last 5 days have gone by so fast :/ I did absolutely nothing at all. I suppose bumming around didn't help much..at least I have another 6days off in a week. A friend suggested I take a trip out of town, try something new. Knowing my luck, I'll get lost lol and that's nothing new ;) But, I will try and take his advice and at least take a day trip somewhere. I just wish the ones I was closest too didn't live so far away..would love to be able to meet them all *sighs*

UGH I'm still trying to quit smoking. They've gone up so much that you can pretty much choose to buy dinner or buy a pack lol I was told to put $1 in a jar for every cigarette I smoke. So either I'm going to quit soon, or I'm going to have my airfare to Malaysia and Maldives :P Wishful thinking, I know. One day I'll make it there..one day.

OH I'm getting a new puppy on Thursday :P an 8wk old shit-zu. I'll definitely take lots of pics. Bella has decided she wants to name her Daisy :S don't really like that name, but it's technically not mine so I guess I don't really have a say lol


Well, I'm bored so I think I'll go off and bug someone ;)

Mwahhhhssss

Looking for some attention..pity and such

I'm not as happy as I always appear

I put on a show and fake a smile to hide things I feel

I have fear of growing old alone, and dying the same way

I don't tell people how I really feel because I'm scared of what they might say

I try to be honest with everyone except myself

I cry a lot now and even though I know I have people I can talk to..I don't

I want to be truly loved

I used to think about suicide on a daily basis..but could never put my mom through that

I want to be happy

I wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world..but can't

I would do almost anything for a friend..and hope that they know that

I don't like putting my problems on someone else

I'm good at hiding things

I blame childhood experiences with my distrust in men

I feel my life is going nowhere..fast

I use humor as a release



I posted this on another site as well..I want to tell people but I don't want to seem like I'm asking for sympathy. So please don't comment :/ I just want some to know what I'm about.

Time to whine

I'm sick, fever, cough, runny nose, headache and my throat is killing me. So I have decided that today I will whine..a lot :P GRR and I'm off for 3 days, how fair is that :( I should be sick on the days I work so that I can call out haha. At least I have others who can relate to what I'm going through. Although, they are probably the ones who sent me their e-germs :O :O I'm cold...then hot..then cold lol I think I need some really good drugs to just knock me out for 24hrs and let me get some much needed rest. I was up til 11am yesterday and got up around 4..was so out of it that I forgot to take Bella to dance :( and then didn't wake up til about 8:45pm. So I definitely need sleep and therapy for my online addiction lol At least she wasn't too upset...she said it's boring sometimes anyway :P I'll make it up to her next week, Chuck E. Cheese again (she loves that place). I think I like that place more than she does ;)

Do I really need to be on time?

I mean as long as I show up to work and stay later, do I really need to be at work on time lol Geez..I stay late everyday so that should make up for me being late. I blame it all on facebook...it's an evil addiction. I think I have been on time 10 times in the past 6months, which is not good. Thank GOD they love me at work or I would have been fired long ago :P I am looking out for their safety though, if I'm on time they would pass out. Passing out could be bad :S they could really hurt themselves and I wouldn't want that (well maybe for a couple of them bwahahaha). The trick is that after being late for a week or so, I go in early a couple days and they forget about the late ones lol I really need an at home computer job..then I'm never late ;)One can only wish

Mwahs

The dreaded hair cut..

So I'm going to get my hair cut tomorrow (Saturday) and I always dread them. I love getting it cut but I get sad over cutting the length out :P So cutting it shorter means I'm going to have to actually blow dry my hair before work instead of putting it in a half bun type style..which is so easy for me since I'm always running late lol I usually get it cut to my shoulders every so often and it's only hair, it'll grow back in no time. Plus if my sister tries to get out of doing it, I'll just have to guilt her haha. I'll be sure to post pics on facebook :)

I was thinking about all the hairstyles I've had throughout the years..I grew up on the 80's so I'm pretty sure I had a mullet lol I even went into this tomboy phase and got a rat-tail hair cut (someone has to know what that is lol), I've had perms, and Im not sure why...my hair used to be naturally curly, dyed it many many colors (Bella even called one of them a "purplish" color lol). I've had it long, super long, medium, and super short..which took me forever to get used to not having hair. It was so easy to take care of but I missed my hair and will NEVER cut it that short again. I've never gone blonde though, highlights but never fully blonde and doing photoshops of me as a blonde doesn't look too bad :P Might have to try that one day.

I'm sorta thinking of something this short, but I'm not sure about having bangs again :S I guess we'll see :)



Mwahhhhs

Taco Bell and Starbucks

Great combination huh? Almost makes you wanna puke, right? I also like tuna and chocolate milk haha Well, don't knock it til you try it :P The Cheesy Gordita and Java Chip Frapp are amazing together..I could actually go for another Frapp now *sighs* The bad thing about going to taco bell is I have to go way out of my way because the closest one has these dirty ladies working there...and I'm not trying to sound like a bitch..Seriously! They come in my store all the time fighting with each other, smelling like dirty diapers and rotten cheese and I swear there is fuzz on their teeth. I believe they might be homeless, which does make it a lil sad. They use our bathroom and kinda bathe in the sink when they get off work, which is nasty because they don't clean after themselves and there's always hairs and dirt left over. One day my manager told them that we were about to close so the oldest one goes to the bathroom and isn't paying attention to our announcements that we're (25min later) now closed...so my manager goes in to tell her she needs to leave. The woman had put her belongings in the next stall while she was using the bathroom in the other, not really sure why though. I guess she thought someone was trying to steal her stuff when my manager opened the door, so she jumps up in mid stream and it ends up all over the floor and her clothes. I felt really bad for her but she didnt seem to notice it at all and I was really trying to not to gag while Im letting her out of the building (I have a strong gag reflex when it comes to smells) and she's telling us how nice we are and thanking us, which makes it worse because we're always talking about them (I am a bitch huh?). Anyway...they work at the closest taco bell and I just can't imagine eating something that they prepared, just makes my stomach turn just thinking about it. See I tend to ramble a lot..people at work are used to it lol but Im not sure if they are listening because I'm funny (which..I am XD) or because they're scared of me and know I will make their life a living hell if they don't bwahahahaha :P I'm the kind of person that you want to be friends with at work. I have such a fun, sarcastic personality that people will actually ask to work the same shift as I do lol Plus, if you want to know something..always come to me! If you don't want someone knowing something..never tell me lol Funny thing is, people know I can't keep a secret (unless its important) and they still come to me with their gossip *giggle* I like to think of myself as the 411 at work, and if I don't know, I'll definitely find out :) Blah..11hrs til I'm back to that horrid place :S God give me strength :)

Mwahhs