One more day...

I can't believe the last 5 days have gone by so fast :/ I did absolutely nothing at all. I suppose bumming around didn't help much..at least I have another 6days off in a week. A friend suggested I take a trip out of town, try something new. Knowing my luck, I'll get lost lol and that's nothing new ;) But, I will try and take his advice and at least take a day trip somewhere. I just wish the ones I was closest too didn't live so far away..would love to be able to meet them all *sighs*

UGH I'm still trying to quit smoking. They've gone up so much that you can pretty much choose to buy dinner or buy a pack lol I was told to put $1 in a jar for every cigarette I smoke. So either I'm going to quit soon, or I'm going to have my airfare to Malaysia and Maldives :P Wishful thinking, I know. One day I'll make it there..one day.

OH I'm getting a new puppy on Thursday :P an 8wk old shit-zu. I'll definitely take lots of pics. Bella has decided she wants to name her Daisy :S don't really like that name, but it's technically not mine so I guess I don't really have a say lol


Well, I'm bored so I think I'll go off and bug someone ;)

Mwahhhhssss

Looking for some attention..pity and such

I'm not as happy as I always appear

I put on a show and fake a smile to hide things I feel

I have fear of growing old alone, and dying the same way

I don't tell people how I really feel because I'm scared of what they might say

I try to be honest with everyone except myself

I cry a lot now and even though I know I have people I can talk to..I don't

I want to be truly loved

I used to think about suicide on a daily basis..but could never put my mom through that

I want to be happy

I wanted to be a mother more than anything in the world..but can't

I would do almost anything for a friend..and hope that they know that

I don't like putting my problems on someone else

I'm good at hiding things

I blame childhood experiences with my distrust in men

I feel my life is going nowhere..fast

I use humor as a release



I posted this on another site as well..I want to tell people but I don't want to seem like I'm asking for sympathy. So please don't comment :/ I just want some to know what I'm about.